No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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