just come out here and I will go home with you...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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