spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
