we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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