Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
