I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize