Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
