But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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