oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
