i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
