it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
