Umm I'm too high to move.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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