Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
