I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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