a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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