They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
