Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize