I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
