Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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