you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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