she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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