redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
