What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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