so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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