Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize