he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's official drugs can't kill me
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
