what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just invented taco cereal.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
