oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Let's paint friendship bongs
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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