dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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