My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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