I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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