Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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