She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
