So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
