I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
