YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
