you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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