are you still at the devil's house?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
