JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Green mimosas i think yes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize