I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
