New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
