Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize