so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
