She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
