Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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