Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
