Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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