Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Randomize
