garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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