So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
