shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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