I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
