I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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