New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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