I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
