I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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