also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
