you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
